. Section 0 | Section 1 | Section 2 | Section 3 .
Being:
Why are you here human?
Human:
Cuz I wanna be an angel too
I want to love freely like they do
Being:
Oh rly?
Okay, but
An angel with whom?
Do u not care if your
Love is on the same page as you?
Tell me, an angel with whom?
S_E_E
She sees the lies I breathe, the hypocrisy.
He sees the agony & attempts to be free.
Both see actions repeating.
All regard my tragedy,
for it was all because of me…
Are there sunsets after death?
Again & again, light flourished past
the horizon no matter how dark
I made it back then, but now
I fear our sun is dead.
Our spark, can it return, or should I cut a loss & retract?
I want to fall together now, but is our love not forever?
Is it not proud, louder than the crowd?
I am fickle. I am in agony. Please see that I am sorry.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
She sees that I'm deluded, whispering lies into my ear.
She stares at the conventional portrait of a partner
& partner with folk behind them in cheer.
She sees how we're nowhere near.
No place to hide, exist,
so be free, she insists,
but they cheer & cheer.
And I sneer & sneer,
at what? Me, her,
was she aware?
If only that portrait could protect me from the sun,
I prayed & thought. If only, if only I could paint myself.
On my other side, his warm & consoling palm on my shoulder, noticing my escaping saliva.
I've screamed & screamed for salvation & my throat only nourishes through tears, yet I yearn for the wind to carry on my prayers, no matter how polluted the air & sill. Say's he. Let's build a home, a family of our own & still. I close my eyes to hear their bounding hands arousing a sympathetic symphony to save me, me who's too scared to look at the judgmental glares around us everywhere.
His palm seemed wet as well.
My words are left tripping & bucking against my own fears,
fighting, just for them, to block the intolerant cheer,
but at times, I let the symphony win.
And now the sun is dead.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Again, they are sorry.
Again, they reflect.
Again, they’ve felt regret,
but who knows
how long it'll last?
We've repeated this dance like the doctrine in their head.
Again & again, but the sun’s diminished,
a speck of remorse, joy,
& trashability.
I hope they cheer for them.
I hope they scream,
cry, & try again.
They whisper in their own ear. Barren throat urges "salvation" here. Hurt, not the sun, yet they'd do all to get near, be cheered. A good one, they'd say, a saved one, hurray. Yet they'd only be a false portrait, but the whisperers call them & our sun a sin.
I see their lies & false promises, but my palms are cold sometimes & the painting allures my mind. What if, huh? At least you're here by my side; we can build our own life, us three. I figured, but the sun left me a bit blind. You too, huh, right? I thought it'd prevail, didn't I? Hm...Delusional mind, pretending & hidden. Now, our sun's depleted, though I acknowledge their plight. Once, it was mine.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Author's note:
I wanted to tell a tale of internalized homophobia.
The human wants to "get to heaven," be straight, or be free from judging eyes, but they'd have to sacrifice their love. So that's why the being asks: "An angel with whom?" Implying they'll be lonely despite suppressing it.
S_E_E
I named the title after what their partners see in them, but it could be interpreted as the being showing them, letting them see the painful reality of their actions & thought process.
Section 1 | Section 2 | Section 3
One may interpret that they're in or were in a poly relationship. I've only used gender-neutral pronouns for them, but their partners have distinctive she/her/hers he/him/his. At first, I couldn't decide whether they should be gay, lesbian, bi, poly, etc., so I aimed to make it vague, leaving their gender open for interruption, nonbinary included, even switching between the genders they prefer. But I like the whole poly relationship angle, leaning into it.
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